


Burning Bright

by Tamuril2



Series: Walking in the Stars [18]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-03-03 15:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamuril2/pseuds/Tamuril2
Summary: Julian's been an operative for Section 31 since...well, he can't remember not being one. They've groomed him, trained him, enhanced him. And now, he's ready for his assignment. Being the CMO of DS9. Only two rules. No talking about his enhancements, and no (real) friends. AU No slash





	1. Keep It Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! WARNING! This gets pretty dark in here. Not M rated but still dark. Hey, it's Section 31, ya'll, ain't no fluffy bunnies hopin' round these parts.

**Rule 1:** _Don't tell anyone about your genetic enhancements. Your backstory and parents are just that: a backup, not an excuse._

 

It was, by far, the easier of the two rules the Section had given Julian.

Crafted from a young age – barely even into his formative years – Section 31 had made very sure that Julian Bashir (lies, all lies, he didn't even know if he had a real name) was loyal to only them. Through punishments (he _still_ had issues with meat, especially raw) and rewards (there was a reason he clung to Kukalaka with such fierceness, even if it did get him good natured ribbing), they'd molded him into their perfect little soldier, spy. The _teenaged_ years were something of a nightmare for both sides – hormones and a 'no questions' policy never mixed well.

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

_Thin arms folded themselves across a bruised chest. "No."_

_"This really is unnecessary, 36D," his assigned agent said, her pale lips pressing together into a tight line. "Complete the task."_

_Her finger tapped against her controller, as she nodded to the obstacle course._

_"No."_

_"Now."_

_The gangly body shook – whether with fear or anger, it didn't matter. "No!"_

_The woman sighed as she pressed her controller. Really, she thought as he writhed on the floor, the boy was bringing this pain upon himself._

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

Somehow, they'd both survived those awkward years, and Julian was all the stronger for it.

He knew his duty now.

His path lay clear before him.

To save lives, to bring order to the universes, Section 31 must have operatives and assets in every Starfleet base – both planetary or orbiting. Thus, Julian was posted to DS9. His orders: Integrate yourself into the crew and habitants, make yourself indispensable.

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

_"Your assignment," the Head told him, handing over a pad._

_The young man reached across the table, took it, and scanned the one page document. His eyes widened just a little. "DS9?"_

_"It's the most beneficial. You'll be near the frontier; medicine and good doctors will be scarce."_

_36D – no, Julian, he was Julian Bashir now, he mustn't forget that – smiled. "I'll have a chance to really help people."_

_The Head frowned. "Make sure you remember your first duty is to us."_

_Julian winced. "Of course, sir. I'll be careful."_

_"Good." The Head leaned back in his chair, folding his hands into a prayer-like position. "You're one of the best, Julian. The brightest. We made sure of it. Don't let that go to waste."_

_"Yes, sir."_

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

At first, well, it'd be hard.

Never before had Julian gotten the chance to connect with others. Not really. In the academy, his goal was clear. High grades, high records, but never high enough to cause questions, only admiration. Social interactions didn't play into that. Oh, he'd tried a few times, but never got far.

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

_The Vulcan raised an eyebrow as the ball rocketed off the back wall. "Well played."_

_Julian grinned. "Thanks. Almost didn't make it. You're good."_

_The Vulcan dipped his head in acknowledgement. A cheer went up through the crowds. Not only had a human beat a Vulcan – something nearly unheard of – but it'd been a medical student. No security in training, no muscled man, a medical student had won the match. Won._

_Julian blushed as praise rained down on him._

_"You have to come out and celebrate with us now, Julian!" his roommate, George, a boy from Mars, shouted._

_Caught up in the moment – heart swelling with pride, joy bursting from his very pores – Julian almost agreed._

_But then he caught sight of his 'father', standing in the left doorway._

_Shadows returned._

_"I can't. Sorry." He gave a smile. "Studies."_

_"Studies!" George growled. "Hang the studies! Let's party! You're top of the class anyway."_

_"Can't." Julian shrugged off the pushing hand._

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

He'd been ostracized from his academy peers after one too many blunders. They called him snobby, distant, and then dropped him.

Section 31 hadn't been pleased about that.

Firm lessons had been implemented, to teach him his mistakes.

Julian couldn't understand though. He'd done what they asked. Kept to his studies, made himself known to the Board, gotten good grades – never _too_ good though. Why then had he been punished for his lack of friends? Shouldn't having more time to study be a good thing? Why else did they monitor him all the time, if not to make sure he was doing his work?

It baffled him.

But he learned quickly.

Friends equaled less pain.

He needed to make contacts here on DS9.

The Section made that very clear.

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

_His computer whirred to life._

_Julian froze in the act of eating lunch._

_"I hear you're having trouble making friends," Oversight said, his tone smooth, dangerous._

_Julian left his soup on the couch and sat in front of the screen. "Yes, sir. I…they seem to take my advances negatively."_

_"I see."_

_Julian played with a wrinkle in his pants, safe in the knowledge Oversight couldn't see him doing the nervous habit._

_"Julian, you realize how much responsibility we have entrusted to you, by giving you this assignment, don't you?"_

_"Of course, sir."_

_"We expect better, Julian." Oversight rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You were given the materials needed for social interactions, weren't you?"_

_"Yes, sir, but –"_

_"Then use them!" Oversight's gaze burned into him. "Failure is not an option here. You make friends, beg if you have to, I don't car, but make yourself useful, for once."_

_Julian swallowed the lump that threatened to choke him._

_"You want to help people, don't you, Julian?" Oversight asked, the soft tone catching Julian off-guard._

_"Yes."_

_"Then do your job." Oversight glanced down at something off screen. "It would be a pity to have to replace you."_

_Julian fought not to throw up. "Yes, sir."_

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

So, he worked harder, and made friends.

O'Brien – useful for his innate knowledge of engines and machines.

Sisko – knowing one's leader in a close way made getting permission easier.

Kira – the locals were needed to reach other aliens, and the fiery Bajoran was a good way in.

Quark – one never knew when illegal things might be called for.

Garak – the Section wanted any tidbits the former agent might slip about his organization.

And it went well.

For a time.

Until the inevitable happened.

In retrospect, Julian could see it had been unavoidable.

What did the Section think would happen, when they allowed Julian to be used as a subject for the latest EMH?

A deep body scan was inevitably going to be done.

Why had they expected different?

It called for it right on the papers.

But, somehow none of them – Julian included – had seen it coming.

"Doctor," Zimmerman confronted him after a second scan. He spat the title at Julian like a curse.

A quick flick of Julian's eyes to the computers confirmed any suspicions. Glorious colors displayed his genetic enhancements for all to see.

"I'm reporting my findings to Starfleet High Command," Zimmerman said.

For a moment, as the older man turned his back to walk away, Julian toyed with the idea of snapping his neck. Killing the only real witness to his crime, and then erasing the digital evidence. The wild urge left in an instant, leaving only a hollow horror of what he'd just contemplated doing.

 _I really am a monster,_ he thought.

The rush to cover up the mistake made warp speed look slow – his _father_ insisted on taking all the blame. High Command accepted it, Sisko agreed to let him still work at the station, and Julian was free to keep his rank and position as CMO.

However, Section 31 didn't like having to lose one of its agents.

Thus, punishment came swiftly too.

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

 _Julian forced himself not to flinch as his_ mother _stalked around his kneeling form like some feline predator. "You cost us a valuable agent."_

_He tried to explain, his throbbing ribs already a testament to her displeasure at losing her partner. "I didn't know. I thought the Section had pre-read the scans. I didn't think –"_

_She kicked him full in the stomach. "No, you didn't, did you."_

_He gagged, lungs trying to get air from organs already too bruised. Could he have evaded her blow? Of course. His eyes tracked things better than even a Vulcan's could. But he knew his role here, knew the consequences of not accepting. That didn't mean he didn't wish he could escape this._

_"Pity." She circled round him again. "We paid such good latinum for your enhancements."_

_He hacked a cough, finally getting air._

_"Get up," she demanded._

_He struggled to his knees. Her hand on his shoulder stopped him there. Nails dug into the nape of his neck._

_"Do want them gone?" she asked._

_"What?" Fear trickled into his mind through a backdoor._

_"Do you want us to remove the enhancements?"_

_Terror arose. "No!"_

_"Are you sure? You don't seem to be using them well. Perhaps they hinder you."_

_"No, please, I…" he couldn't breathe suddenly. He knew what happened to patients that had such operations done. He wasn't a fool to think he would survive what others hadn't. His eyes burned as he turned them up to his_ mother _. "Please, don't."_

_Her eyes – blue as the iced caps in Andoria – watched him impassively. "And what reassurances do we have that this won't happen again? You've already disobeyed one rule. Why not another?"_

_"I won't," he swore. "I'll be more careful. I'll be an asset to the Section."_

_Her grip hardened. "You had better."_

_She let go, rubbing the neck she'd abused. He did nothing to stop the mockery of comfort. He had no right to demand anything, not after such failure. After a few minutes, she stopped and turned to leave his room. But she paused a few steps away before returning. Hunching down she cupped his swollen cheek with a gentle hand._

_"Do try and be better, Julian. For your mother?"_

_A single tear escaped his eye. "Of course. Anything for you."_


	2. Keep It Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Even darker in this segment.

 

 **Rule 2** – _Your loyalty is to the Section above all._

 

Pain coursed through his body. Pain so dull that, at times, Julian could almost forget it was there. And yet, at other intervals, so sharp he couldn’t breathe. It fluctuated, pulsated with a life of its own. It became his everything; his world, his terror, his fate.

“You brought this on yourself,” a silken voice whispered by his ear.

He blinked up at his ‘mother’.

Garbled sounds escaped his lips, but never melded into words. A hot tear trickled down his cheek. His words. They’d taken his words from him. Bad enough his legs no longer moved, but his words, too, were gone!

Mother reached out – he couldn’t stop the instinctive flinch – and brushed the tear away with a gentle thumb. “Now, now, no crying. We _did_ warn you. We gave you _every_ opportunity. But you _forced_ our hand.”

Hatred and fear boiled up til it choked his throat.

A scream ruptured from him – a cry for help and a declaration of condemnation, all in one.

“Shhh!” she ordered, slapping his bruised cheek. “We haven’t time for your childish tantrums.”

He struggled as best he could against the restraints on his wrists. Cold leather cut into his already raw skin. Nothing. Nothing, but more useless pain. He glanced down. His legs wouldn’t obey his commands anymore, so they’d left them untied weeks ago. With a whimpered sigh, Julian lay back down on the table.

“There,” Mother said. “Wasn’t that silly to do?”

He glared at her.

Her green eyes narrowed. “Attitudes like this are what got you into this situation, Julian. You’d best remember that.”

He thought about spitting at her.

“Now,” she said. “Today, we’ll focus on your enhancements again.”

He winced.

That was how he’d lost his words.

The legs…the legs had been done the old-fashioned, brutal way. They’d flipped him on his stomach, sliced open his skin, and taken a sledge hammer to his spine.

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

_The feel of the cold metal pressed against his cheek sent a shiver down Julian’s body. He lay, face down, on the long, grey table; his hands retrained above his head by leather cuffs, while two other similar cuffs held his ankles in place. He tugged experimentally against them, but whatever his handlers had injected into him had temporarily nulled his enhanced strength. He sighed. He wasn’t going anywhere._

_At least, they’d allowed him to keep his pants this time._

_A thin hand touched his bare shoulder._

_Julian flinched, jerking his head to the side to face his new tormentor._

_His ‘mother’ stood several inches away. A few other, nameless, agents stood behind her. Mother leaned closer, blue eyes as sparkling with an anger that would challenge a Klingon. “You’ve been a bad boy, Julian.”_

_He stiffened, muscles bunching up tight._

_She stroked his back gently. “I’m disappointed. We gave you everything. Handed the world to you. And you threw it back in our faces.”_

_He opened his mouth to plead for mercy._

_She grabbed his hair and slammed his head against the table. Bright lights flashed across Julian’s eyes. He sucked in a hissed breath._

_“The Section doesn’t tolerate failures,” she said, releasing his hair._

_“Please, I –”_

_“No.” She slammed his head again, and then continued softly. “No, Julian. We gave you a chance. Remember? After the EMH? You’ve thrown it away. So, now, you must accept the consequences.”_

_His hands clenched into fists._

_He was going to die, but not before enduring ‘punishment’._

_“I’m sorry,” he told her, them, in the hopes it might assuage them into leaving out the worst punishments._

_“I know,” Mother replied. She turned to the three other agents. “You have your orders.”_

_She left._

_Left him with these unknown men._

_At least with her here, he knew someone._

_Now, he was truly alone._

_Two of the men stepped on either side of him. The third sat in a chair, twirling a large hammer. That man grinned. “I bet five he faints.”_

_The one on his right snorted. “Six he pisses himself.”_

_The last refrained from saying anything._

_A flash of light caught Julian’s eye. He suddenly couldn’t breathe when he saw what Right Guy held. A surgical blade. Turning his head to the other side, he saw Guy Left had one too. He closed his eyes. He couldn’t watch them do it, couldn’t bear to see the tools of his trade used for harm._

_The tips of the blades touched his lower back, before pushing in. He bit his lip to keep from screaming at the hot, black pain. It tore through his body like a plasma charge. His body twitched and bulked, attempting to get away. He tried to stop it, but couldn’t._

_“That didn’t take long,” Right Guy laughed. “We haven’t even got to the fun part.”_

_“Give him some slack,” Chair said. “Failures aren’t known for their self-control, you know.”_

_Down to his pants line the blades cut, then back up to til they got to the middle of his spine._

_By then, he was moaning, and sweat ran down his face._

_Tiny claws pinched his skin._

_He jerked._

_What in the…_

_He glanced down, and had to swallow bile. They were going to rip his skin away. Autopsy him!_

_The new pain of that transcended anything before._

_He temporarily blacked out._

_Only to come back a second later to the foul taste of **Animazine**. _

_He coughed, a spasm running down him._

_Of course, they’d have it. Wouldn’t want their_ failure _to miss out in any of his ‘lesson’._

_His back quivered._

_A quick glance told him they’d succeeded in opening his skin enough to see his spine._

_He vomited._

_Chunks of carrots and beans slushed into the table under his cheek. The stink and feel of mush almost made him vomit again. He held it in hard. Stomach acid burned his throat and nose._

_“Gross!” Left said calmly. “I’m not cleaning that.”_

_Chair shrugged._

_Right glared. “Don’t look at me.”_

_“My turn,” Chair announced._

_Left and Right backed up a bit, their eyes gleaming._

_Chair leaned down until Julian and he were eye-to-eye. He grinned wide. Lifted up the hammer and waved it._

_Julian’s eyes widened, and what little courage he had left. “Please....please, don’t!”_

_“No can do, little man.” Chair straightened. “Need to burn some calories.”_

_Julian closed his eyes tight, and regretted ever letting his ‘friends’ in._

0/0/0/0/0

 

“Julian,” Mother cooed. “I need you to pay attention.”

He whimpered, unable to actually reply.

She smiled down at him. “Good. Now, these hands…”

Long fingers brushed against his broken knuckles and fingertips.

“These hands have gotten you into the worst trouble,” she said. “They wrote reports on the Section. They stored them in a file.”

He shallowed his breathing.

“They cannot be allowed to do so ever again.” She ran her fingers through his sweaty hair. “I’m going to take them, Julian. Their enhancements will never be used against the Section again.”

A sob escaped him.

First his legs, then his voice, now his hands. 

A true cripple.

By the time they were done, he’d be nothing but a crippled shell. Only good for pity and death. Only, they wouldn’t give him death, would they? No, they’d promised to leave his mind intact. Promised to let him live the rest of his life as their broken pet.

A physical object for all assets and agents to learn from.

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

_The agony of his spinal injury had numbed to a constant ache when Mother came back a few weeks later._

_By then, they’d started removing the enhancements for his speech. Day by day, he could feel the equations, words, and sounds leaving his grasp. He could still understand language, but his speech was beginning to crumble._

_“I don’t enjoy this,” Mother said, hands clasped behind her ridged back._

_“Coldth folled mah.”_

_She shook her head. “So much potential wasted.”_

_He growled at her._

_She slapped him. “You’re selfish, Julian.”_

_His bruised cheek stung._

_“But even like this, you will serve us.” She brushed some of his sweaty hair back off his forehead. “You will be a lesson to all who see you.”_

_He frowned. “Whath?”_

_“You will not die.” She straightened. “You will continue to live, after your punishment ends. No, you will live. We will sit you in the main hall. In this way, other will have a daily reminder of what happens to those like you.”_

_Another piece of Julian died that day._

0/0/0/0/0

 

The tricorder beeped in her hand as she scanned his body. Her eyes flew over the readouts. She nodded. “Good. Your electrolytes are up enough to begin.”

Tears brimmed and fell down Julian face, some dripping into his bloodied ears.

She watched him for a moment, before disappearing from view.

Julian prepared himself as best he could for what was most likely the final part of his ‘punishment’.

After this, he’d the broken enough to serve the Section’s new purpose.

It burned.

He’d fought so hard to break away from them.

Betrayed years of conditioning.

Used every skill he had to make solid allies (friends).

Battled for each life sent into his hands, regardless of their worth to the Section.

And, at the end, it didn’t matter.

Not one midge.

He relaxed his muscles, slumped against his restraints.

So, this was it then.

Nothing came of his actions.

Nothing but pain, and failure.

Suddenly, the room exploded with fire!

A **_boom_** deafened him til all he could hear was a tiny ringing. Smoke stung his eyes. Bits of hot shrapnel singed his mottled chest and arms. He coughed, once, twice. Shook his head. But it still made no sense.

What had happened?

Muffled sounds came from far away.

Julian checked the room as best he could.

Mother – his breath hitched – Mother lay on her side, a large piece of metal skewering her side. Dark blood pooled beneath her, rapidly spreading outward. A bulky figure, shadowed in the smoke, stepped over her. Julian blinked hard several times to try and clear his eyes of the dust.

G-Garak?

And, O’Brien!

The two men stood, now, a few feet from him, Romulan rifles in their hands. Their clothes were a bit torn, bloody in some places. Yet, while O’Brien’s face curled into a visage of anger, Garak’s remained disturbingly blank.

“Come, we haven’t much time,” Garak said to O’Brien. “The others can only give us five more minutes.”

“Right.” O’Brien stepped the rest of the way over. “This is gonna hurt, Julian.”

The man struggled a few seconds with the leather restraints, before ripping them off Julian’s wrists. The Irish man dragged him up fast. Julian swayed, his useless legs buckled, and his vision blurred. Then, next moment, he was being carried, bridal style, down a hallway by Garak. He stirred and glanced up at the Cardassian.

“Doctor,” Garak grinned, not quite looking down at him. “We must endeavor to not meet this way often. People will talk.”

Julian laughed, though it came out as more a wheezed choke.

Garak’s tightened his grip around. Strong, scaled hands squeezed gently. “Only a few hundred more feet, Doctor.”

Julian nodded sluggishly, leaning his head back down on Garak’s boned shoulder.

 

0/0/0/0/0

 

“Well, Doctor?” Sisko asked, his warm hand laid Julian’s shoulder.

The Bajoran woman re-read her pad. “The damage is extensive. They tore out as much as they could, without leaving him in a vegetative state. I’m not sure his speech will ever be regained. And his spine is so shattered, only a replicated new one would be feasible. And even then, it might not give him back his range of motion, just stop the pain.”

Sisko’s grip shook. “Thank you, Doctor.”

She nodded and left to file the report.

Sisko sighed, sitting down in the chair beside Julian. Tired eyes rose to meet his. “I’m so sorry, Julian.”

Julian shook his head, a soft mew his only viable answer.

Sisko winced at the sound. “We got your message a week after you disappeared. Smart move, using Quark.”

Julian smiled.

He knew the Ferangi would come in handy one day.

Nice to know the alien had upheld their bargain.

“I’m sorry it took us so long to find you,” Sisko continued. He leaned closer. Julian fought the urge to cringe back at the invasion of space. Sisko sighed again. “The Section blocked us at every corner. We finally had to rely on Garak’s old contacts to get in.”

Julian wondered what that had cost the ex-agent.

“They won’t get you again, Julian. We won’t let them.”

Julian nodded, because it was expected of him, but he didn’t believe the Captain. The Section _would_ come for him. This time, there’d be no mistakes. They’d kill his friends, and still leave Julian alive. They’d make Julian live out the rest of his life, knowing his friends died for him.

Julian sucked in a shaky breath.

After all, what use was a lesson, if the subject was dead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus we end this story. Yes, I know, it's very open-ended. I'm sorry, that's just the way it came to me. 
> 
> Will I ever write a sequel? Maybe. There's no plan for it right now.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this. Review, please? Let me know what you think.
> 
> Animazine = Star Trek stimulant to keep people awake.


End file.
